By Michael S. Freeman

Is There a Reason You Can't Break Up?

If you've tried to break up with this person before and failed, you may have become embroiled in a codependent relationship. Codependency is the psychological term for staying in a relationship because the other person is providing something that you need. You may not realize it, but your giving in to their pleading is because some aspect of their personality fulfills a need that you have. This used to be called having a rescue complex, a need to "fix" an emotionally damaged person.

When you are dealing with a codependent relationship it's important to admit that you are keeping it alive just as much as the other person. Giving in to their refusal to let go tells them that they are in control. It gives them the power to stay in your life. When this happens you need to take back your life and let them know that they cannot control you or the relationship.

Be Compassionate but Firm

Study the list you made carefully and use it to reason with him or her. Most people will accept the break up when confronted by your reasonably expressed feelings that neither of you are being fulfilled. If they are still in love with you, it will hurt them much less when you break up with them this way; they will be sure of the reasons you're leaving and won't have to struggle with unresolved feelings.

The most important thing to remember is that you are the one that controls your life. The people you choose to have in your circle are your choice and no one can stay without your approval. Take back your power, be assertive but compassionate and stand firm in your insistence that the relationship is over.

You need to leave your unhappy relationship… now! Ladies can find breakup guidance here, and men can find help here.

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